Supporting Children’s Social and Emotional Growth
- José D. Lebrón, MEd
- Oct 17
- 7 min read
Updated: Nov 1
It’s natural for parents to want to meet every need and want of their child. After all, nurturing and providing are instinctive parental responses.
However, research suggests that consistently fulfilling every desire may not support the kind of development children need most. In fact, it can limit important opportunities to build emotional resilience, self-regulation, and independent problem-solving skills.
While academic readiness is often emphasized in early childhood, recent studies have reaffirmed that social and emotional development is a far stronger predictor of long-term success.
A 2021 meta-analysis published in Frontiers in Education found that
early social-emotional learning (SEL) is strongly linked to improved academic achievement, better mental health, stronger peer relationships, and lower rates of behavioral challenges (Blewitt & Luo, 2021). Similarly, a 2022 Penn State study found that preschoolers who demonstrated stronger emotional regulation and social skills were more engaged and successful in school settings than peers who entered with only academic skills (Bierman et al., 2022).
SO WHERE DO CHILDREN BUILD THESE SKILLS?
The answer is simpler than you think:
PLAY!
Play is one of the most effective ways to foster social-emotional growth. A 2023 study published in the Early Childhood Education Journal reported that PLAY significantly improved executive functioning, including attention control, working memory, and cognitive flexibility, in children aged 3 to 5 (Jennings & Greenberg, 2024).
Another 2024 study examining outdoor play environments found that children who engaged in more physical, unstructured outdoor play demonstrated better emotional regulation and working memory compared to peers with more sedentary or screen-based routines (Munroe & Wang, 2024).
PLAYING WITH OTHER CHILDREN also provides natural opportunities for children to experience frustration, negotiate conflict, and navigate complex social dynamics key components of emotional intelligence and resilience.
Importantly, these benefits are not limited to free play alone. Research highlights that guided or intentional play, led by educators or caregivers, can be powerful in supporting self-regulation, empathy, and cooperation.
Participation in programs like Building Brains & Futures (2022) has been shown to lead to measurable improvements in language, motor skills, and executive functioning after just six
weeks of play-based intervention (Fitzpatrick, Barnett, & Pagani, 2022).
I think it is important to keep in mind that when supporting your child’s emotional development it is valuable to provide consistent structure and boundaries.
Children thrive when responsive caregiving is paired with clear expectations. By providing space for independence, encouraging problem-solving, and allowing time for open-ended play, while also creating structure, we are not only helping children enjoy their childhood, we are giving them the tools to thrive throughout their lives.
In the end, play isn’t a break from learning.
PLAYING IS LEARNING!
In my work, I’ve seen that a child’s ability to understand emotions, relate to others, and cope with everyday challenges is foundational to their long-term success. These skills develop through play with peers and learning from the adults in their lives.
🧠 What Is Social and Emotional Development and Why Does It Matter?
Social and emotional development refers to the process by which children learn to:
Recognize and express their emotions
Build healthy relationships
Manage behavior and impulses
Solve problems and make thoughtful choices
Learn emotional regulation skills
These skills help children feel confident, secure, and connected to others. And the research backs this up.
A 2022 longitudinal study in Early Childhood Research Quarterly found that children who entered kindergarten with stronger emotional regulation and interpersonal skills showed better reading and math achievement by third grade (Fitzpatrick, Barnett, & Pagani, 2022).
Another study from the National Scientific Council on the Developing Child emphasized that early emotional support is a buffer against future mental health challenges, especially for children facing adversity. Additionally, my work in schools allowed me to learn that when a child struggles to manage big feelings such as anxiety or frustration, their ability to fully engage in the academic and social aspects of their lives tends to be a struggle (Ginsburg, 2007).
💬 Common Questions from Parents 💬
“Is it normal for my child to cry, cling, or act out?”
Yes! Big feelings are part of being a young child. Tantrums or mood swings are signs that your child is still developing the ability to manage emotions. Children are helped by support and not shame.
TRY SAYING: “I see you're upset. Let's take a breath together.”
This kind of response teaches children that emotions are manageable and that adults are there to help.
“How can I help my child become more independent?”
Let them practice small tasks: zipping up a jacket, putting toys away and cleaning up after themselves or choosing what snack to eat, and have them solve problems on their own. Giving them guided independence helps them feel capable, confident, and ready for classroom routines and live in general.
🛠 Practical Ways to Build Social and Emotional Skills 🛠
Here are a few strategies you can start using at home, many of which are in the free guide I created:
Helping children build strong social-emotional skills doesn't require fancy tools or complicated routines. It’s really about creating small, consistent moments throughout the
day during which children can practice handling feelings, solving problems, and understanding others. Here are a few simple, but impactful strategies to build that foundation:
1. Use “Big Deal” vs. “Little Deal” Thinking Children often struggle to know which situations truly need adult intervention and which ones they can handle on their own. Teaching your child the difference between a “big deal” and a “little deal” can help them feel more confident and in control.
A big deal might be when someone is hurt, there’s danger, or they feel unsafe. These are times they should absolutely come to you for help. A little deal might be when someone takes their toy, or they don’t like what someone said:, things they can try to work through with words or by walking away.
When you talk to your child about problems this way, you're helping your child learn emotional boundaries and decision-making. It also builds resilience, because they begin to trust themselves to handle everyday bumps without always needing an adult to step in.
2. Support Play and Imagination Pretend play is more than just fun!
Pretend play is a space in which children can work through emotions, learn empathy, and try on different roles. Whether they're playing with dolls, stuffed animals, action figures, or imaginary friends, these moments are full of opportunities to explore feelings and practice problem-solving.
You can support this by asking open-ended questions like:
“How do you think the bear feels after her friend yelled at her?”
or
“What can we do to help her feel better?”
These gentle prompts guide your child to think about others’ perspectives and find solutions, all while staying engaged in their play. You're helping them connect feelings to actions, which is a key part of social-emotional growth.
3. Encourage Emotion Talk and Regulation Techniques One of the most powerful tools we can give children is the ability to name their feelings. When they know what they’re feeling, it’s easier to figure out what to do with emotions. Use books, daily situations, or even your own emotions as teaching moments.
For example, you might say, “That boy in the book is frowning; what do you think he’s feeling?” or “You seem really frustrated right now; what do you want to do with that feeling?” Pair this with strategies like taking deep breaths, squeezing a stress ball, or asking for space.
The goal isn’t to avoid big feelings, it’s to help kids move through them with tools they can carry with them into school, friendships, and life.
📚 Helpful National Resources
Zero to Three: Tips and tools for early childhood development
Harvard Center on the Developing Child: Research-based strategies
Child Mind Institute: Support for emotional well-being
🏙 Local Resources for Families
Philadelphia Infant Toddler Early Intervention (PITC): Free evaluations and supports for developmental concerns. https://dbhids.org/early-intervention/
Healthy Minds Philly: Mental and behavioral health resources, events, and screenings. https://healthymindsphilly.org
Children’s Crisis Treatment Center (CCTC): Trauma-informed therapy and family services. https://cctckids.org
Philadelphia Free Library – Literacy & Parenting Workshops: https://www.freelibrary.org/
Perez Therapy, LLC
https://www.pereztherapyllc.com/
💬 Final Thoughts
The way we talk with, play with, and respond to our children teaches them how to handle the world around them. When we support their emotions with patience and care, we’re doing more than helping them through tough moments:, we’re giving them the tools to thrive for years to come. You are your child’s first teacher, and your support matters more than you know.
Join Us in Advocating for Change
We believe that recognizing LAPCs as eligible Medicaid providers is a vital policy improvement that would immediately increase access to care for children and families across Pennsylvania.
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References
Bierman, K. L., Domitrovich, C. E., Nix, R. L., Gest, S. D., Welsh, J. A., Greenberg, M. T., Blair, C., Nelson, K. E., & Gill, S. (2008). Promoting academic and social-emotional school readiness: The Head Start REDI program. Child Development, 79(6), 1802–1817. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-8624.2008.01227.x
Blewitt, C., & Luo, J. (2021). Social and emotional learning in preschool settings: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Frontiers in Education, 6, Article 691670. https://doi.org/10.3389/feduc.2021.691670
Cipriano, C., Strambler, M. J., Naples, L. H., & Durlak, J. A. (2023). The state of evidence for social and emotional learning: A contemporary meta-analysis of universal school-based SEL interventions. Child Development, 94(5), 1181–1204. https://doi.org/10.1111/cdev.13968
Fitzpatrick, C., Barnett, W. S., & Pagani, L. S. (2022). Building brains and futures: Evidence for the impact of a structured play-based intervention on preschoolers’ executive function, language, and motor skills. Early Childhood Research Quarterly, 59, 1–12. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ecresq.2021.11.005
Ginsburg, K. R. (2007). The importance of play in promoting healthy child development and maintaining strong parent-child bonds. Pediatrics, 119(1), 182–191. https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.2006-2697
Jennings, P. A., & Greenberg, M. T. (2009). The prosocial classroom: Teacher social and emotional competence in relation to student and classroom outcomes. Review of Educational Research, 79(1), 491–525. https://doi.org/10.3102/0034654308325693
Taylor, R. D., Oberle, E., Durlak, J. A., & Weissberg, R. P. (2017). Promoting positive youth development through school-based social and emotional learning interventions: A meta-analysis of follow-up effects. Child Development, 88(4), 1156–1171. https://doi.org/10.1111/cdev.12864
🌟 Quick Overview in Supporting Children’s Social and Emotional Growth 🌟
